either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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