now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
