Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When did angry sex become our thing?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
