also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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