He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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