I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
