Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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