You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
