I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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