OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
