about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
