You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
