I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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