opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
