You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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