Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
