I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
