things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
