I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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