i already hear my dad disowning me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
