grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
