Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
