My balls are so social today.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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