he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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