I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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