so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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