3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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