fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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