Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
