weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This is the high leading the old right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I fill condoms, not promises.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
