so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
