so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I want a musical about memes.
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