Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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