She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Blood and glitter go together right?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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