It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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