But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
