she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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