also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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