Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
