I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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