Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
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He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
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I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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