He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
