Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
