I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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