Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
