Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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