The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
