Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize