theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
In America we eat man semen.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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