I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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