I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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