ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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