but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
