These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
