i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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