I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
