My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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