one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
