Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
