i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
