Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
