So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize