it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
