he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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