I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im part way to drunk.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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